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Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
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249.
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More Haiku from the Confucius Collection
Man who ran in front
of car got really tired.
And they were Dunlops.
Man who ran in rear
of car was so exhausted
he went to heaven.
Hand in pocket makes
man feel cocky all day long,
it also warms him.
Man who scratches ass
is well advised to not chew
fingernails too soon.
War does not show us
who may be right in this world
but who will be left.
Man who eats many
prunes will soon get run for money
with noisy exit.
He lives in glasshouse
and always changes clothes in
the basement laundry.
Herbert Nehrlich
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250.
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My Mother's Zoo
My mother has a cuckatoo,
in fact her house looks like a zoo.
It smells, it must be said, dear Scout
like billy goat and sauerkraut.
At times while visiting this zoo
the cat will leak upon my shoe,
the cuckatoo would call me freak,
I visit mother once each week.
Herbert Nehrlich
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251.
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My New Computer (Limerick)
Just got finished (some help from a tutor)
hooking up to the net the computer,
somewhat clumsy of hand
though I did understand
this thing beats the old roto-rooter.
Now the screen is a 24 size
the small letters as big as blowflies.
And no gremlins in sight
so I bid you good night
may the gods bless my overworked eyes.
Herbert Nehrlich
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252.
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Nouveau Riche
You say where there is smoke there must be fire
while pointing at the mansion I now own,
no man will stand here calling me a liar
a blackmailer, and crook, who's rotten to the bone.
I earned this money working in the ditches
and pumping poo from septic tanks each day,
a life of toil and forty years to riches
I'm seventy and old enough to play.
Not one dull dollar has been dropped into my lap
I've paid my taxes on the interest in the bank,
no lousy copper comes in here to pin the rap
onto my hide, and who am I to thank?
You say my Rolls and all the other motorcars
are not legit and that I do not have good papers,
and that my passport photo does not show those scars
inflicted years ago in the Mauritius Capers.
I can see clearly that you are a great detective,
and if the file you have in front of you is me
you'd surely think that I, yours truly am defective,
you want my papers to make certain I won't flee.
I do admit to it, but do me one small favour:
Stand very still right where you are and close your eyes,
I want to give a smallish taste, of proper flavour,
it is a Glock, and you may say all your good-byes.
Herbert Nehrlich
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