|
|
|
Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
|
|
| |
|
|
2397.
|
Social Limerick
He was known as the local Brownbagger,
in his belt he had hidden a dagger.
As an industry rep
bribing was a small step
and the common folks surely would stagger.
When big business gets cozy and close
with the leaders, (not those who oppose)
it will take from your wallet
while it drops down your gullet
of the poison a hefty dose.
We have lost all the caring and love
that was given to us from above.
where compassion is missing
there will never be kissing
it is more advantageous to shove.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
2398.
|
Socks
Today is the day goddammit.
Not just another Monday
with all its pressures and urges
and society commitments and
the ah so expected lousy weather.
No, I am calling everyone's bluff,
crimes against my dignity have
under some cockamamie disguise
been perpetrated again, a clear case
of repeat offenses in the name of,
and under cover for the vanity flair.
It's all about socks, needless to say,
a never ending serial embezzlement
in nylon, rayon, cotton and mixed threads.
He should have, by rights and decency
moved out a decade ago, out and away
to where ordinary K-Marts and Mrs.Sears
are the proper purveyors of fabric footwear.
I was on to his game, aided and abetted by
no other than his own mother, spoiled brat,
and I am the fifth wheel parked in the weather,
so who would blame me for resorting to
abject ingenuity born from sheer desperation,
a scheme which was certain to derail all
including his best laid plans. Stomp on them
I would in secret but publicly there would be
as a weekly routine spanning many months,
sock buying sprees governed by strict rules.
Having ascertained offspring's strong dislike
for licorice purple and gooseshitgreen,
the strategy was one of utter genius and,
to no one's surprise, resting on the pillars of
brilliance and strategic supremacy. Oh yes.
Drawer after drawer filled with MY socks,
some cotton, some nylon and some mixed stuff.
Before Christmas I obtained, in a streak of luck,
four pairs for the price of two, real beauties,
with a fluorescent stripe encircling the upper ankle
and re-enforced heel and toe regions as well as
elastic twice woven in the factories of Switzerland.
I still had my suspicion, of course, looking casually
at the boy's lower extremeties while encouraging,
by example, a rapid stride which would lend
a rather sporty swinging bounce to our locomotion,
allowing me that revealing glimpse at the border
between sock and the lower end of the instep.
And today, on this miserable Monday morning,
with all its unreasonable demands and noises,
shrill and unconducive to recovery from ethanol excess
there are NO SOCKS! ! ! Blow me down again.
Postponing, by sheer necessity, all detective work
where will I find a pair of any colour, where indeed?
Believe you me, I feel the nagging of a new suspicion,
and vow to have another look at her, down from the knees.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
2399.
|
Soft Jaws - How To Beat BMI
Down on their knees
they were, and tried
at varying degrees
and on the side
as well as upside down
and from behind,
it was no use, a frown
appeared to have a mind
all of its own, it was defeat
no sex tonight or ever,
the end result of way too much to eat.
But men are clever,
they think when necessary
not with their brain
but rather, very voluntary
with little Heini, which is not in vain.
Since Heini knew that he was rather short
and no amount of pheromones would aid
but, all the same no Heini will abort
an honest effort, once the bed is made.
It was a matter of about an inch
enormous blubber layers were in the way,
and in the end they recognised that in a pinch
imagination of the purest kind would surely pay.
As at the university there was a track
where they could try high speeds to test those gees,
at supersonic speeds your ears pin back.
They sat inside the test car with their knees
in locking mode, he facing with his Heini
toward the front and full of new-found hope.
Three g's were reached in seconds as the tiny
but eager little devil on a slope
was driven by inertia's righteous laws
right into the warm home with its soft jaws.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
2400.
|
Solitary With Mushrooms
Solitary in the electric chair,
she called it that, it had
a tiny motor inside its stuffing
which was quite capable
of overwhelming, vibratory
and humming stimulation,
specifically designed
for aging backs of grannies.
She played her silly cards
while keeping one green eye,
the one that had been
operated upon for cataract,
on all activity down in the
wondrous world of cobblestones.
And there I sat, strapping
but timid, due entirely
to heavy-handed folks
who would not tolerate
the slighest whisp of
budding freedom thoughts.
The motto being sheer oppression
would always save the day,
tradition simply did demand
that hand-me-down philosophy
and status be upheld, so
the words bonjour tristesse
would have been most appropriate.
Yet, highlights happened on occasion,
hot milk and honey - what a treat -
and chestnut cookies with
blackberry icing and a dollop of sweet cream.
Depending on the season, though,
grandma, the lady of...idiosyncrasy
would ask us boys to ease discomfort,
the pain of age which lived inside her feet,
demanding strong massage by well-trained hands.
And so, with natural reluctance, we would strip
her woolen socks off, baring dimpled ankles,
which then exposed a somewhat aromatic aura
of edible, long-cellared fungi, noticeably.
It was the fifties and my older brother Otto
had coined the term just for these rare occasions,
it was our 'mushroom cloud', to be endured.
A distant relative, by name of Oppenheimer
was NOT amused, though he was fond of little boys.
A notice was received last week from the director
of God's Green Acres, where they're running out of room.
For fifty bills she gets another twenty years,
there was a small notation, longhand, underneath,
alerting us to a decided overgrowth
of aromatic mushrooms, would we kindly pick those weeds.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|