|
|
|
Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
|
|
| |
|
|
237.
|
Loyalty
There once was a man from La Jolla
he could preach so it sure would annoy ya
'on the 4th', he would brag
'I shall burn your damn flag',
he'd forgotten about paranoia.
So he went to the city's own square
all the folks said that he wouldn't dare.
And they all stood in awe
when he first burned the bra
of a fine looking woman, now bare.
And he called her the Mom of the Nation
born and bred here, and no imitation.
So the people surrounded
the two boobs that had founded
and they all gave a standing ovation.
Now the man saw his God-given chance
all the citizens were in a trance.
With a match made in China
there, in North Carolina
he performed a most treacherous dance.
But the people still stood there, adoring
what democracy stands for, ignoring
the most obvious clues
that all rams and all ewes
would forever find royally boring.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
238.
|
Mademoiselle In The Blitz
She wore her pink dress 'cause it fits.
then the sirens announced the big Blitz.
On the way to the cellar
she ran into a feller
He then helped her because of her tits.
Took her arm and he felt her left tit
as a first-born and well-brought up Brit
he had never felt such
velvet warmth to the touch
then he stumbled, fell into the shit.
When the sirens at last screamed all clear
and like smoke rings those small puffs of fear
drifted into the streets
to the cops on their beats
it was only her voice he could hear.
She yelled 'Hey, there you handsome young man,
I've come up with a promising plan.
A good bath in my tub
then you gobble me up',
and he shouted ' I can, yes I can.'
Once at home he did wash and she cleaned
and he looked like a bum and a fiend
then he kissed her poitrine
and got stuck on the scene
you can see he had never been weaned.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
239.
|
Marketing
Last minute rush,
all must go,
never be cheaper
or better quality.
Move 'em out, guys
bonus for early sell out,
pub squash and gin,
it's all in the marketing.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
240.
|
Mary And Harry - An Outhouse Tale
Mary had a man who sat
all day on the shitter,
Harry sat but hardly shat,
because his wife was bitter.
She had a sour face all day
and nights she turned the tables,
when Harry had big hopes to play
she sent him to the stables.
One day when Harry was alone
he went out to the Dunny,
hung up a sign, said Harry's Throne
and giggled, it was funny.
When Mary came to see her man
chained to the bloomin' shitter,
she handed him a garbage can
and that's when Harry hit her.
You see she wanted to convey
that he was really loaded,
with crap, but be that as it may
all trust had now eroded.
So Harry stayed upon his throne
that's where he met his Devil,
the Devil used his mobile phone
to call his brother Neville.
Hey Neville, I've got one for you
he's in a lavatory
the place just reeks of pee and pooh
wait til I tell the story.
So Neville came, took him away
they'd put him in the fryer,
but Mary, who was quite okay
she aimed for something higher.
She'd fallen in the smelly pit
and hidden deep down under,
by putting up with all that shit
she stole the devils' thunder.
And if you think this tale is weird
(perhaps it IS a riot) ,
just think that Mary never feared
and in the shit kept quiet.
Herbert Nehrlich
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|