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Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
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197.
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From The Selection 'Confucius Says' *
Passionate kiss will
like spiderweb soon open
fly of man in heat.
Virginity is
like big respected bubble,
one prick, all gone then.
Wife who puts husband
in doghouse soon will get him
out of the cathouse.
Panties are really
not very best thing on earth
but next to best thing.
Man who drive like hell
is probably a German
and soon will get there.
Man who farts in church
will soon find himself alone
and sit in own pew.
Man who fight with wife
all day will most certainly
get no piece at night.
Foolish man give wife
grand piano smart man will
give upright organ
Herbert Nehrlich
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198.
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Fromage, C'est Trois
A cow displays to us her udder,
an asset pleasing to the eye.
It is the origin of butter,
how so you ask, I'll tell you why.
Inside the udder is a juice
of colour white and pleasant taste.
the hormones of the cow induce
production of it, without waste.
Had I been God I would have made
arrangements for the bovine queen
to spend her daytime in the shade
until she has a calf to wean.
In order to ensure production
of milk when little one has grown,
and in the absence of strong suction
she'd find herself all on her own.
The time would come for lengthy walks
around the paddocks and the trees.
She'd eat the grasses and the stalks
and swing her udder in the breeze.
The swinging, Isaac Newton says,
creates momentous agitation,
it's when an udder bumps and sways
it culminates in cavitation.
And, at that point, what once was fluid
with creamy texture, also warm,
has turned into, well, yes, you knew it,
a solid mass after the storm
Now. Udders hang below cows' knees
close to the grass and thus the ground,
where dandelions grow, and bees
along with certain germs are found.
Their task is pre-ordained, concerning
essential parts of bovine juice.
They dive into the gently churning
fresh milk the udders still produce.
So, next to that big chunk of butter
activities are underway.
You find, inside the swollen udder
fresh butter, cheese, a bit of whey.
As you can see, I am a God,
filled with exceptional ideas.
And don't you find it rather odd?
I have a voice that no one hears.
Herbert Nehrlich
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199.
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Gardening Near Molars
It has been mentioned here, though just a hint....
(she filled this lover's ear, with peppermint) .
So to retaliate, a fragrant see
perhaps would fascinate her majesty.
A woman's mouth could serve, as a green park
and every single nerve, then be a spark.
So let us plant within, row after row
above her doublechin, a Mistletow.
And plant I did inside, green thumb in cheek
followed the garden guide, its doublespeak
Dutch tulips, pink and blue, a single rose
next day a runner grew, out through her nose.
Herbert Nehrlich
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200.
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Gender Matters
On this festive occasion
it's a question that begs
in the Lord's own equation
there's no mention of eggs.
All the chickens and bunnies
keeping well occupied
hiding eggs behind dunnies
where the spirits reside.
And when dawn wakes the masses
they stand up on their legs.
Yes, they all have their asses,
only some carry eggs.
Herbert Nehrlich
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