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Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
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121.
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Ted Bundy
Bees will fly from forests quickly back into their burning nest,
horses, handsome, strong or sickly, seek the sanctuary's rest,
men will break their word each Sunday, honest thoughts evaporate,
Yes, I knew the man, Ted Bundy, enemy of the great state.
Blood attracted him forever, like a moth into the flames,
eighteen months this evil, clever predator played cruel games.
Issaquah, a town of miners, had its soul ripped from its chest
there among the outdoor diners, one unwanted, brilliant guest.
You were pleasant, Ted, you picked me, off the road and took me back,
others, those you later tricked, see, died and rotted by the track.
No remorse was found within then, and you paid the final price,
once you said it could be thin men, who were born as cold as ice.
We had many loud dicussions, in the Pub at Mercer Isle,
I recall you hated Russians, gave the Blacks a country mile.
Jurisprudence was your forte, no one ever beat your grades,
on the marble it says MORTE, covered by the green of blades.
Herbert Nehrlich
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122.
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The Art Of Writing Limericks
A limerick can be rather funny
when the syllables are on the money.
But when none of it fits
it can give you the shits
Would you stop writing limericks, sonny?
Herbert Nehrlich
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123.
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The Braveness Of A Circus Clown
A Chinaman, who, new in town
was working as a circus clown.
One day he saw on the trapeze
a muscled woman named Louise.
To show her that he was no coward
he called his colleague, (name was Howard)
and told him that he'd climb the rope
that courage would bestow some hope.
And so he climbed until he stood
next to Louise. He said he would
now be an artist of the air
to which she answered 'I don't care,
you are an ugly little clown
so get your boring body down! '
As you can guess, her words had shattered
all his brave thoughts, the hope that mattered
and in the blink of a clown's eye
he whispered quickly his good bye.
Jumped off the swing headfirst and fell
into the cage of Annabelle.
This creature was, please do not laugh,
a rather tall and pink Giraffe.
He happened to cling to her neck
and slid, while thinking 'what the heck? '
down to the animal's soft skin,
then landed with a silly grin
inside the hamper stuffed with hay
to his surprise he was okay.
Meanwhile, Louise, who couldn't care,
had craned her neck, begun to stare,
she lost her balance now and dropped
until she was, quite roughly, stopped
by Ben, the Hippo's giant jaws,
there first was silence, then a pause
as all the folks expected worse
and someone yelled a heartfelt curse.
The Hippo though had left adventures
back in the jungle, now wore dentures.
He would have liked to eat Louise
but, with arthritis in his knees
and utterly disgusting bunions
he now preferred sautéed green onions.
And, being gentle at his age
he bowed toward the silent stage
and set Louise down on the ground
right in the soft and steaming mound
of Hippo droppings where she stayed
her face a mess, her mind dismayed.
The clown had learned a lesson here,
rejected love defeats your fear
but choose, before your very end
giraffe or hippo as your friend.
Herbert Nehrlich
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124.
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The Fall Of Rome
One pool was filled with brownish sludge
its colour similar to fudge.
The other stank of pharmacy
and bureaucratic chemistry.
They did assure the stupid masses
that any emanating gasses
were simply signs of distillation
and this would lead to fractionation.
You see, the public servants had
neglected things, and now were mad
that lakes and rivers had run dry
without the water, all would die.
So they convinced the skeptics all
that Rome prevented its own fall
by cycling all their excrements
through special pipes and narrow vents
until they bubbled, mixed and rose
in volume and to please the nose.
The bladders of those placid mules
were used as filters in their pools.
It made the brew look fresh and clear
and wiped away the people's fear.
So, soon the Romans skipped their wine
and helped themselves to bubbly brine.
Their chemists had not known the fact
that oestrogen will stay intact
inside a liquid and it will
wreak havoc first and later kill.
Each woman, since she is a she,
has hormones hidden in her pee.
These substances will act in men
to make them feel like Mother Hen.
They'll grow size 44-D breasts
and try to hide them under vests.
Rome fell due to a lack of tails.
Recycled water killed all males.
Herbert Nehrlich
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