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Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
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105.
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Lovers Talk
T (sleepyhead) :
My head beneath your chin
My mouth upon your heart
I am at home at last
At rest
At peace.
Legs entwined,
Limbs entangled....
M (just being there)) :
I cannot speak, nor think
So heavy is my heart,
Though you are here
To breathe and soothe
Your hair carresses me
Speaks to its coarsest kin
Toes curled and held in trance
A honeysuckled mind
Oh yes, at rest and richly blessed
A thousand years my lips are pressed
To you, your warmth invades my space,
Asleep, our happy digits dance
A tiny tear rolls down your face
Reflecting liquid stars to me
And now we blink
As night unwinds
All colours fade but pink.
Herbert Nehrlich
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106.
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Mary Had A Little Pig
Mary had a little pig,
she knew that pigs did grunt
the pig was dressed in leaf of fig
it covered her whole c**t.
Mary had a little dog
the dog would bark and bark.
she moved the dog in with her hog,
she did it in the dark.
The pig awoke first light of dawn,
the dog a little later
one had a craving for pork brawn
so he stood up and ate her.
Now Mary, left with just a mutt,
she missed the little porker,
the dog would always scratch his butt
he was a true New Yorker.
One day when Mary took a bath
the dog climbed in to join,
and then the little psychopath
he groped her in the groin.
So Mary drowned the little beast
and went down to the Farmer,
they'd eaten at their weekend feast
all wieners, but ONE charmer.
So home she went, put on the cap
to take her evening shower,
meanwhile the wiener took a nap
for just about an hour.
At ten, when Mary went to bed
the pig sat near and rested
and one of them, or so it's said
was udderly big-breasted.
So, for the term of Mary's lease
the two got on together,
but then the pig demanded geese
you know, birds made of feather.
Well, that's enough said Mary, NO
this is no farm in Texas,
but said the pig, for me to grow
I must mix with the sexes.
Well, Mary looked and ascertained
the porker was a male,
and needed to be entertained
on an erotic scale.
They compromised, he joined her then
each night inside the tub,
and baptised him and called him Ben,
each night he got a rub.
Please don't assume that Mary would
do what you won't put past her,
she'd been to private school and could
avoid such a disaster.
What helped of course was bubble bath
it covered all temptation,
she'd had a chemist do the math
had asked for an equation
where pheromones would simply drown
in seconds in the bubbles
this all occurred in Germantown,
they never had no troubles.
Herbert Nehrlich
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107.
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Methane Gas
Their teacher loved his chemistry.
He knew that atoms had to be
prepared to join and thus create
new molecules with unknown fate.
He taught his charges about gas
which is elusive while it has
no truly solid properties,
and that it loved the world of cheese.
Well, Johnny, who had great ambition,
had read about atomic fission
and was, on could describe the lad,
a bit too nerdy, maybe mad.
He always stood and volunteered
and mixed some stuff the teacher feared.
But on the day of the disaster
he built from scratch a methane blaster.
He sat, in front of his own class
to prove the powers of a gas.
Had eaten beans and Sauerkraut,
two items that will want back out.
He had aligned three Bunsen burners
to demonstrate to all the learners
what gaseous explosions do
he yelled 'now watch the flame turn blue! '
And with a roar and then a rattle
a cloud inside prepared for battle.
Now, within seconds, on command
it blew to smithereens his hand.
Was followed by more heavy shells
and absolutely sordid smells.
And, as they say the yawn is catching
all pupils tried, and soon were matching
the foul eruptions near the flames.
Their teacher knew that learning games
can be successful in this life,
he'd proven it with his own wife.
Well, I am very very sorry,
there is an ending to this story
which won't become part of a thesis.
The gas blew all of them to pieces.
Herbert Nehrlich
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108.
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Money Tree
Ten years ago, in Tennessee
I grew myself a money tree.
The money came in all-green leaves
my shepherd kept away the thieves.
My dog supplied his droppings, too
I added, also, chicken poo.
The tree grew big and even bigger
it was a huge imposing figure.
And from the top you could make out
Jack Daniel's place, on Hilltop Route.
I cared for, watered my big tree
it did allow me to be free.
And in the year thereafter it
had little ones, I said 'oh shit'.
Today I have a whole plantation
by far the largest in the nation.
I am the richest in the land
my life is great and never bland.
This shows what honest work can do
I wouldn't think it is for you.
Herbert Nehrlich
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