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Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
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61.
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....for being late
'Twas late in the day
on that Christmas Eve
and the elves lost their way,
Santa rolled up his sleeve,
quick took out out his road map
and peered through his glasses
then he waved with his cap
'Let us move your fat asses! '
So the reindeer did fly
in a Northern direction
and from high in the sky
they could see a reflection.
As their well-travelled legs
landed, things became funny:
Among thousands of eggs
sat the Easterbunny.
Herbert Nehrlich
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62.
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A Great Teacher
All year I had behaved,
with not a friggin' hair
or sound of dissonance
in sight for those who looked.
But on that faithful morning
when certain feelings landed
inside the courtyard of that
what you would call the autonomic
and the system without limits,
it happened, and it did so quickly.
No rescue or reprieve, no hiding grace,
it's what they label 'in the act', that counts
he was my best and most benevolent
impressed with me, Herr Teacher.
How could one, ever, forget the shame,
that had attached itself by then
to one's own innocent and altruistic name?
I sometimes think that my mistakes,
my ludicrous misjudgments could well be
a measure of the me who would not even know.
Herbert Nehrlich
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63.
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Benign Limericks
In the forests of Uluru
fertile pebbles of Kangaroo poo
make the bunya trees thrive
and the bees in their hive
sing the song of the didgereedoo.
From the top of the Eiffel Tower
I had dropped in the morning a flower.
When I went down for lunch
I discovered a bunch
and got drenched in a Paris rain shower.
That time I flew with Lufthansa
I felt crowded as if in a Panzer.
Well, our pilot was new
and we had a bad crew,
there is more in the following stanza.
We were served by a Sauerkraut Roll
who was mean like a sausage-less Pole.
When she raised her shrill voice
I had no other choice
but to break all the rules of Parole.
I then grabbed the bitch by her blue collar
raised her up (I was quite a bit taller) ,
out the window she flew
without further ado,
you could hear her (for ages) still holler.
Herbert Nehrlich
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64.
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Camels
A camel is a wondrous horse
it finds its way through dunes
it's really not a horse of course
nor is it a raccoon.
Some ignorants say camels do
store water in their humps,
this is demonstrably untrue,
there's fat in them there lumps.
Now, let me tell you, please take care
and do not stand too close
a camel spits into your hair
or smack right on your nose.
A bit of news, to close this time
more camels are sent to
Egypt and countries with their clime
from Sydney (this is true) .
Australia grows its camels tall
they love the food Down Under,
and when they yell their camel call
it sounds like heavy thunder.
Once on a ship to the Mideast
they spit into the sea,
which is for catfish a small feast,
the humour is on me.
Herbert Nehrlich
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