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Best Poems From
HERBERT NEHRLICH
(04 October 1943)
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401.
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2006
New Year has come, two-thousand-six,
it desperately needs a fix.
The biggest known deficiency
is what we call omega-three.
And further should it be our mission
to guillotine each politician.
Dismantle Medicine as such
since it has lost the human touch.
Dump all the pills into the sea
to spare us so much misery.
And as to humans, there is need
to bring back decency, indeed.
And teach the kids integrity
and that no riches make us free.
Struth! So much more is still required
just thinking of it makes me tired.
Though I shall give this stuff the nod
will it come true? Please ask your God.
Herbert Nehrlich
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402.
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2009 Happy Birthday Jerry Hughes!
Jerry Hughes is making merry,
folks as far as Londonderry
send him wishes, sometimes darts,
he may upset applecarts
up to snuff in his cognition
quick to beat the competition
keeping though a civil tongue
once he sees the bastards hung.
Friends like Jerry come in stages
ask a poet as he ages
whether he'd accept a freak,
he will help the frail, the meek
but he has no time for losers,
druggies, poofters, thieves and boozers.
I am proud to call him Mate
sent the combo for my gate.
Herbert Nehrlich
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403.
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21 Haikus
He stayed inside her
until the borders opened
beloved Poland.
She shaved the hair off
but hubby was a drunkard
hair of the dog, then.
The snow of dandruff
had settled on his shoulders
he did not ski there.
Arctic explorer
in need of operation
could get no doctor.
She was a stripper
and did the wiggle nicely
there was an echo.
Airplane with pilot
may get you back quite safely
if he stays sober.
Old Doctor Ziddle
was looking for dilation
she had to piddle.
The moon is lonely
and really jealous of her
she is much brighter.
The Devil whistled
when he saw Brigitte Bardot
and tried to bribe her.
In Argentina
they do the wildest dances
but not the Polka.
The Pope is German
he drove an old Volkswagen
God kept it running.
Speedy Gonzales
must have been a Latino
illegal alien?
Hilary Clinton
can taste the presidency
she's not my taste though.
And Donald Rumsfeld
was into drugs, yes, truly
but did they help him?
In Arizona
the sun fools many people
to think they're poets.
My book is ready
the Library of Congress
has shown some int'rest.
The one who scooted
he was a sordid liar
he lives in cesspool.
The Eiffel Tower
is an attempt by Frenchmen
to reach the Heavens.
And Gerhard Schroeder
a German and a Peacock
dumped his first woman.
Enciting laughter
is something I am good at
Felix the Clown says.
All these are Haikus
they make you breathe much better
but you must read them.
Herbert Nehrlich
Read more: hair poems, dog poems, running poems, laughter poems, lonely poems, snow poems, woman poems, moon poems, people poems, sun poems, god poems, women poems, dance poems
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404.
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27 Haiku Definitions
Death
Inevitable?
Death most certainly is not.
Until it happens.
Birth
Coming out of there
must be the weirdest journey
of any unborn.
Illness
Should illness strike you,
remember that its cousin
is the Grim Reaper.
Marriage
Once you get married
the value of your dollar
will surely dwindle.
Puberty
The boys have stirrings,
the girls are hit by periods.
And buy their first bra.
Money
It is a product
of services performed and
it makes you comfy.
Sex
The main attraction
seems to consist of something
a bit elusive.
Jack Daniel's
Flamboyant Jack was
a genius who made whiskey
that one would strip for.
Vodka
Liquor called Vodka
is made from grain most often.
Potato's better.
Racist
A man with manners,
but somewhat presbyopic
when judging others.
The Devil
He made me do it.
A Hypnotist who knows how.
God did create him.
Automobile
If a Mercedes
it will make you soon forget
lowly Volkswagens.
Doctors
As Nature heals you,
the Doctor watches closely.
Then takes your money.
Lawyers
Opinions differ.
As udders of all cows do.
All lawyers milk them.
Dentists
As you get older
your bark is often bigger.
All dentists like this.
Politicians
They get elected
by dummies who pay money.
And do feel taken.
Homosexuals
Misguided missiles,
finding erotic targets.
While swinging pelvis.
Nude Beach
A bunch of loonies,
comparing in the open
sex apparatus.
Traffic Cop
Man with uniform,
but psychologically
a Robber Baron.
Teacher
Impatient master
of not his own but your life.
Who teaches teachers?
Auto Mechanic
Such greasy fingers,
working on your pride and joy.
And then count money.
Pornography
Money for Honey,
who shows us how we ought to
perform without it.
French Kiss
Sticking one's tongue in,
to count internal structures
above the stomach.
Army
A bunch of soldiers,
who shoot until they run out
of living targets.
War
Old men in bunkers,
pulling the strings of others.
Until they snap off.
Pope
A man of God who
condemns all poverty but
hoards his own riches.
In Love
Overestimate
the difference between them.
It's an illusion.
Herbert Nehrlich
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