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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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29.
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You're So Fake
You pose too much, my faux ex-friend
With your changing looks and pseudosmiles
And face that transforms with the fads
Like evanescent twilight...
Made of powdered sugar glitter bytes
You're so fake, my one-time friend
I think I barely knew you
I doubt I nearly liked you
Perhaps you were fooling me too
With your shining smile of pearly plastic
You make me sick, you girl of glass
Who's really nothing more than clear rhinestone
You fake diamond, you shine only under a sun you create with lightbulbs
Silicone tears do slowly descend your brittle painted porcelain face
And the thing that disgusts me most...
That drives me to complete insanity...
Is the fact...
I almost believed you.
Amanda Saveley
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30.
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A Moment of Weakness
My solitude leads me to irritation.
Plain and simple,
Everything you do anymore leaves me angry.
I wish this were not so.
I wish everything were the way it was before,
When I had no cares and you had no worries
Back when everything was new and sweet
And ignorant.
The pain is almost more than one can bear these days.
And yet...
I cannot leave you.
Not like this.
I refuse to give this up.
I refuse...
To let this die along with all my other failures,
To just let it fall with my shortcomings...
No.
Not today.
Not tomorrow,
Or the day after,
Or the day following that...
Never!
...lest you beat me to it.
Amanda Saveley
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31.
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Another Dose of Emotional Morphine
Should I even bother?
Does it really matter?
Am I sitting here waiting
For something that will never come?
Did I delude myself
Into thinking too much?
Into thinking you'd stay?
Assume you won't go away?
It was my mistake.
Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all again
I got so far
And got so low
It's getting hard
To let you go
But soon I must
Why, I don't know
You're getting too close
I'm starting to show
Layers are peeling
I'm fading away
I refuse to fall backwards
I don't want to delay
So if you must hurt me
Please hurt me today
I knew from beginning
It's always this way
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
And I gotta let you know
I just gotta let you go
Before we tear ourselves apart
Don't wanna tear away your heart
See you waiting
Lonesome, lonely
See you waiting
I see you waiting
Breaks my heart to see you cry
It breaks my heart to watch us die
I know that I should wonder why
But I can't ever wonder why
No, can't take time to say goodbye
I'd stick around to live this lie
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Amanda Saveley
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32.
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Even Glue Flakes Away In The End
Things bounce off me, everlasting cycles of motion.
I'm rubber, you're glue...
I am invincible, never showing emotion.
Everything bounces off me and sticks to you
My opinions are strong, I stand by my own.
But no one knows I'm coming unglued
My words are my honor. In truth I stand alone.
My hinges are slowly becoming unscrewed
I live for my family, for my friends I do yield.
I'm carefully coming apart at the seams
I work to my fullest, my potential fulfilled.
I'm walking through life like I'm sleeping through dreams
I live by example, to prove to the world
My ideals are shattered, they're worn clear to the bone
That I am more than an ordinary girl
I'm important to no one, and I stand alone.
Amanda Saveley
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