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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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29.
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An interesting way to die
I want...
Need
To fix this.
Somehow...
To gain forgiveness...
I would scale a wall.
I'm suddenly feeling the azure-eyed hero of angst,
The only things separating us being physical appearance
And the fact that,
Instead of avoiding the phone,
I cling to it in simple desperation
(Okay, maybe not cling, but I'm definitely in close vicinity)
I never wait for calls.
I loathe the thing called the telephone.
In fact,
If I could communicate by shouting from my front lawn,
I'd do it!
But I can't.
Though I would.
I would shout my apology out
To the entire neighborhood
For blocks and blocks
Until my voice died
Or someone shoots me
I should be shot
Hanged for my crimes against love
Thrown off the highest balcony in the city
Which honestly isn't that high,
But it's definitely enough to kill me
Not in the way I deserve
But who's to choose?
I should be stabbed,
Slaughtered the way I'm sure I slaughtered you,
Tearing out your heart in brutal agony
All over things I just cannot say to you
I don't blame you for not returning my call
I wouldn't want to talk to me either
I wouldn't want to see me ever again
I would want to do to me what I did to you
Tenfold,
And without mercy
I should die for what I did
And I am dying
Sitting here,
Waiting for a call that may never come
A most appropriate sentence.
Amanda Saveley
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30.
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Angel, Manifested
Thank you girl, sweet girl, dear girl
For spreading your wings
But remaining grounded
For reaching for the stars
But keeping down-to-Earth
For knowing your boundaries
But aspiring to reach beyond them
For understanding your place in life
But knowing that someday, you will have more
For biding your time
And showing people that there is hope
For exposing your inner darkness
While lighting a candle for others
You are an inspiration
When I began to lose sight
When the world was too heavy
And nothing seemed right
When surrounded by distruction
And helpless depair
You were a reminder
That some people care
Though you're an ocean away
Someone I barely know
Through your beautiful words
You've shown me your soul
And though I be older
And on this earth longer
It's obvious to me
You are perhaps the one stronger
I've had more experiences
I've had more time
But the wisdom in your words
Are nothing but sublime
Yet your modesty prevails
And this is the thing inspires
When this modern day
Is full of arrogant liars
I will remember you
And the way you bare your heart
Hoping this is a lesson
That from me doesn't part
So whenever you think
That you are worth a bit less
Remember there's someone
Who thinks you're the best
Amanda Saveley
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31.
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Another Dose of Emotional Morphine
Should I even bother?
Does it really matter?
Am I sitting here waiting
For something that will never come?
Did I delude myself
Into thinking too much?
Into thinking you'd stay?
Assume you won't go away?
It was my mistake.
Well this is not for real
Afraid to feel
I just hit the floor
Don't ask for more
I'm wasting my time
I'm wasting my time
You can't stop the feeling
And there's no reason
Let's make the call
And take it all again
I got so far
And got so low
It's getting hard
To let you go
But soon I must
Why, I don't know
You're getting too close
I'm starting to show
Layers are peeling
I'm fading away
I refuse to fall backwards
I don't want to delay
So if you must hurt me
Please hurt me today
I knew from beginning
It's always this way
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
And I gotta let you know
I just gotta let you go
Before we tear ourselves apart
Don't wanna tear away your heart
See you waiting
Lonesome, lonely
See you waiting
I see you waiting
Breaks my heart to see you cry
It breaks my heart to watch us die
I know that I should wonder why
But I can't ever wonder why
No, can't take time to say goodbye
I'd stick around to live this lie
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Amanda Saveley
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32.
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Assume Nothing
We're not friends
Just because some stupid site says so.
So don't come up thinking we're tight...
That we're close...
You aren't that lucky.
My friends work long and hard to gain that status
And some never really do
If you're my friend
You'll know it.
If you're not sure
Ask me...
I'll tell you straight-up.
My friends and I have inside jokes.
We laugh at simple things that no one could think of
I get them, and they get me,
And I never hesitate to ask for help with them
Just like they know I'm the one to come to for weird advice
Others are afraid to give.
I love my friends
No matter what age,
Race,
Creed,
Gender,
Political view,
Or sexual preference.
If you like what I like, cool
(Though sometimes I might suggest you get your head examined)
If you don't, that's cool too
Even better,
Cause I love to argue and I love to learn
So whether I'm right or wrong,
Either way, I win!
I have some gorgeous friends with some beautiful souls
And some mediocre friends with some beautiful souls
And even some 'omgwhatinthehellhappenedtoyourface? ' friends
With some BEAUTIFUL souls...
But I have no friends with hideous souls
All my friends are good
Now as for intelligence...
I'll get back to you on that one.
Cause my friends make mistakes,
And I'm not afraid to tell them that
Cause when I make mistakes
They'd better well tell me
Or I'll tell them off for that too!
Cause with me and my friends,
My real friends
My honest-to-whatever-greater-force-is-out-there friends
There are few secrets
And even fewer lies
Because we respect each other better than that
(though it may not look like that sometimes....)
So yeah,
If you can't check all of the above
If you come up short
If you're a little confused
Just ask me
I'll be honest
But chances are...
We're not friends
Amanda Saveley
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