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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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25.
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Religion
Religion:
I hate it
Not hating God, that is.
I just hate Religion
Or rather,
Those who shove it in my face
'God will save you if you believe.'
I believe, yet I am not saved
'There is hope in Jesus Christ.'
Good for Jesus. Do you think he'd share?
'Where there is God, there is light.'
That's great....if you like a blinding light searing straight into your BRAIN!
(as for me, I'll stay where it's darker, so I can sleep, okay?)
I have had people call me athiest
Okay, I'm a little guilty of being sarcastic
Cynical, even..
But athiest?
Do you think, just because I don't go to church,
That I'm athiest?
Really?
Because........
If God really IS everywhere........
Why am I going to a specific building to worship?
He knows my address
He could send me an e-mail
Or something......
I honestly don't think that going to church is all that important to Him, anyway.
Amanda Saveley
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26.
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Support Groups
Why is everything so repetitive?
I hear the same damn thing
From the same damn groups of people
If everyone shares the same problems,
Should the world be in a support group?
If the whole world were in a support group,
There would be less war
There would be less genocide
People would see that all people are the same
We all have different ideas
And our faiths differ
As much as our tastes in music
But we are all the same
Our anatomy is the same
Just as my heart is the same
As a heart that beats somewhere in Sydney
Somewhere, there is the heart of a man
From Bangladesh,
A country I'd never even thought of
Until I met the man
Whose ideas, morals, and feelings
Match mine perfectly
So, you see
We are all the same
And if everyone could see that,
We would have no need for support groups,
Would we?
Amanda Saveley
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27.
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The Day of My First Death
I was nine years old
Dining room wood table,
Polished gleam against the open window
Lace curtain covers
White like my innocence
White lace burial shroud
I was nine years old
Small ivory hand placed in a large hand,
Worn with the troubles of the world
My mother looked at me with tears
Crystal clear in her almond eyes
I did not understand
But her face held the key to mysteries long since gone
Long since passed
Mysteries I would soon unravel for my own
To carry as a burden
Chip on the shoulder
A chip that never should have been
Words said delicately, with care
Fragile words like broken glass
Cutting and scraping at a tiny shielded heart
Cousin, mentor, idol
Carried burden of unraveled mystery
Too heavy to carry
Sought to unload the heavy hold
Failed,
And brought more upon herself
I could not understand
She loved me so, beloved cousin of mine
She had to
We were close, she and I
She, my protector
I, her keeper of adoration eternal
And nothing could separate us
Not even the five years that placed a gap in our age
Except the secret of the unraveled mystery
Long since forgotten
Carried on the shoulders of a fourteen-year-young girl
My cousin
Tiny capsules deliverance of dark mortality
Forced from tiny life
The facts were clear to me
Still,
I did not understand
Could not understand
Love could conquer all, I was told
Belief firmly lodged in mind,
Wrenched from safety and flung into obscurity
Truth blinding like harsh rays of sun
Burning pale skin
Turning dark
Inside out
I died that day in the dining room
With the polished wood table
And white lace curtains
And my mother's almond eyes
And crystal tears
And fragile sharp words
I was nine years old
Amanda Saveley
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28.
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Won't You Leave Me With A Scar?
I have scars
You just can't see them
They're not behind my eyes,
But they're in my tears
They're not on my face,
But if you looked hard enough, you'd see them
They're not on my hands
But my hands have caused them
They're not on my arms
But they make it hard for me to hold someone
They're not on my legs
But they make it so I can't walk
You can't see them,
But they're there
And if you look deep inside
You could catch them
They're not contagious
But they are a disease
And they're consuming my heart
Forming a shield,
A barrier,
So that no one may ever reach it again
Amanda Saveley
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