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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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93.
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'Water landing' sounds suspicious...
I'm crashing.
Faster than a jet liner into the Atlantic
And I know something's terribly wrong here
Flying higher than a kite with no medicinal aid
Only to sink after the endorphins die,
So fast to flee...
To return to the unexplainable source
And so I'm crashing,
Not able to grab onto a flotation device
He's not here with me today
And so I'm sinking
Unable to write that song I thought I had
Wrestling with the always-present questions like...
Cutting my hair, okay?
Gonna work out, okay?
Doing my homework, okay?
But this weight drags me down heavily
Causing me to sink into the depths of my own self-loathing
And I'm crashing
Ever so slowly
I can't stop it
Fighting only makes me suffer
Waves overlapping and it kills me to see my own demise
It kills me to see my own sun setting
And beautiful words collide in my mind
But none of them are coherent enough to make art
I'm striving, ever the tortured artist
But there's no output
Cause there's no input
Unplug me, unplug me
The lyrics without the tune
Is like a guitar without an amp
Just ugly, just ugly
Like an face unpainted vamp
Oh I'm crashing
Further down into the underground
Burying myself in pity
Refusing to relive glory days
To sink to that level would be sooo
Middle-aged schoolteacher with lame life engrossed with children
How I loathed you
Not willing to sink to that level,
There's got to be
Oh there's got to be
A ledge
Somewhere.
Amanda Saveley
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94.
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Who Makes You?
When I got another girl scout badge,
An academic award,
A certificate of some kind,
You were there, smiling,
Like I'd done something worth doing
For you sat through the endless line of programs,
The initiation ceremonies,
The honor dinners and ceremonies,
Graduation,
Smiling and crying,
As if I'd saved the world or something
You were always there for me,
No matter what,
And when I'd see the other people
Who weren't so lucky
I'd feel a twinge of guilt for them
Wishing there was something I could do for them
To bring back that person
Or at least, make them care...
But sitting at a table in a university
With others I've met along the way
Surrounded by my new life
That somehow doesn't include you
I feel lost
Looking for your smiling face
And I wonder if maybe it means less without you
That you were the one that made it all worth it
That I really did it for you all along
And just don't know how to
Stop.
Amanda Saveley
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95.
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Who Says You Can't Teach 'Em...
Oh sir, why do you so repeat yourself?
Plan you to be clever?
I warn you against such actions,
For words lose value when played like a broken record.
People tire of monotony;
So teach yourself some new tricks, old dog,
Lest ye be thrown out into the cold.
Amanda Saveley
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96.
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Won't You Leave Me With A Scar?
I have scars
You just can't see them
They're not behind my eyes,
But they're in my tears
They're not on my face,
But if you looked hard enough, you'd see them
They're not on my hands
But my hands have caused them
They're not on my arms
But they make it hard for me to hold someone
They're not on my legs
But they make it so I can't walk
You can't see them,
But they're there
And if you look deep inside
You could catch them
They're not contagious
But they are a disease
And they're consuming my heart
Forming a shield,
A barrier,
So that no one may ever reach it again
Amanda Saveley
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