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Best Poems From AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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93.
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Love Is Not Here, Please Leave A Message
Love...
Darkened at the doorstep of a lost hope
I search for you still...
Lost in the sea of my utter discontent
I missed you somewhere
Along the many miles of stretched pavement
Was a single message
My machine did not pick up
I only wished that someone would hear the message
I had left on your machine
But no one has
And no one ever will
For love,
Your machine is broken
Over-used,
Borrowed by many,
You are the friend everyone looks for
But few can find
Because no one bothers to write a letter anymore
No one has the time
You are old as time,
So you do not believe in e-mail
Just letters
And a machine that receives no messages
For Love,
You are unreachable
You have tried in vain to reach me,
Knowing that I was searching for you
Somehow...
But my machine is also broken
For I threw it against the wall when you last called
Enraged,
I tossed you aside like a thought long forgotten
Paper torn and lost in the wind
Love...
I missed you
And now that I wish to find you again
To apologize
You are nowhere to be found
Did you throw your machine against the wall as well?
Amanda Saveley
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94.
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THAT Girl
Yes,
THAT girl
The one who walks the halls,
Mini skirt
Ruffles, denim,
Whatever...
Making heads turn
Gathering attention
Good, bad
Doesn't matter to her
It's attention, isn't it?
And she's only fourteen.
But you wouldn't know that.
You wouldn't know that
Cause you barely know her name
You barely know that she is a person
Like you,
Like me,
Like everyone
But you wouldn't know that
You see her, and you don't think
Nice smile
Sweet personality
You think
Short skirt
You can see her stomach
Loose
Careless
SLUT
But she's only fourteen.
You can't be a slut at fourteen
Can you?
Oh, you can
And they do
And they spend all their time on the internet
All that time
Taking pictures
Making lies
Making mistakes
And where do the mistakes go?
To homes
To therapy
To their graves
They run so fast
You'd swear their feet are on fire
Their souls, torched with the ashes of their
Ignorance
Innocence
Lost in the way somewhere, like a child
Broken
Lost
Alone
And it is these mistakes,
These THAT girls
That make mistakes
Who each grow up to make mistakes
To cover the earth
In gloss
Amanda Saveley
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95.
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The Expense it Takes to Retrieve That Which Was Lost
I can't let go.
Of anything, really.
Pain, hate, anger...
It's all integrated in my skin
Become part of who I am
A section of my brain
Sealed off for just those things
I will always scream inside my mind
Silent piercing constantly rocking my soul in the darkness
I will always loathe to the point of obsession
Hatred will always consume my life,
Slowly ebbing away at the person I used to be
To mutate me into that which I have become
The thing fueled only by the anger that rages on
Becoming the only thing that keeps me in motion
I will avenge your loss someday
I will defeat those who have opposed me
Separated me from what was once my happy life
Oh happy life...
Beloved existance...
I will retrieve you again
But at what cost?
Amanda Saveley
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96.
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The Hardest Part
Anyone can die...
We could all die tomorrow
And never know it
Yeah, we could all die tomorrow
And never feel this way again
Anyone can die
That's the easy part
Romeo and Juliet,
They thought they had it so bad
But the truth is,
They had nothing
Because they were a couple of whinyass kids
Who had it all
And never worked
They thought their love was so great
That they could not bear to part
But this all-time classic love
Is all shallow
All-physical
And all a lie
Because anyone can die
We could all dropp out at this moment
Without having loved at all
Love life,
Hate life,
In the end,
The pain's the same
Because anyone can die
You,
Me,
The sibling down the hall
The guy down the street
The starving baby in the third-world country
Do good,
Do bad,
In the end,
The fate's the same
But to throw it away
For land,
For money,
For sadness,
For love,
Is unbearably ignorant.
Because anyone can die for another
But the hardest thing to do
Is to live for another
To bear every extremety
Happiness
Sadness
Joy
Pain
Because anyone can die
That's not impressive
To live for someone,
That takes a lot
And sometimes,
It's more than one person can handle.
Amanda Saveley
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