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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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69.
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Nameless
I have...
No name.
Not today.
I tried my best to find something to be called
Anything at all,
But nothing. Sounds. Right.
It all sounds the same to me.
Fighting back tears I know will come,
Inevitably,
As they always do
But it can't happen like this...
I won't lose you...
Not like this...
I refuse
To be called nameless by a thousand different words
That never passed your lips
I would fight them,
Those words
And earn my name
If only to carve it into your heart
Amanda Saveley
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70.
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No Title Could Ever Explain
I hate your desperate honesty
Telling me everything I want to never hear
And nothing at all in the same breath
Your silence is maddening
The secrets in the break between words
Driving me to unreasonable angst
I hate feeling...this way
This pain that makes no sense
This loathing that beats at my insides,
Tearing at my pulmonary like rust
I hate this uncertainty most unfitting of my persona
This crippling doubt intigrated into my mind
To the point where I can't tell where it ends and I begin
I am married to my own discontent
Unable to break the shackles that bind me to my misery
Amanda Saveley
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71.
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O, Who Is Thus Shone From Light To Darkness
eyes like two sparkling beads of ebony
breaking through the darkness
glittering like celestial jewels
her smile is ivory against porcelain skin
eyebrows arched like rainbows
as her smile radiates all the colors
that her soul cannot reflect
her heart is hidden beneath beds of thorns
waiting for the blade to break the vines,
to release her for all eternity
Amanda Saveley
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72.
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Ode to My Self-Loathing
I hate you!
Hate the way you make me feel
Hate the way I dropp my walls around you
Hate the way I lose all consciousness
Hate the way I think I can plan my future
Hate the way you look at me
Hate the way you make me cry
Hate the way you make me lie
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
And all I can think is,
I can't hate you!
I put too much into you!
But I do!
And I hate that too.
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
Anger runs right through my veins
And I'm following the beat to this song of anger
Typing like my fingers are on fire
Why don't you ever just say goodbye?
Why draw out what can't be saved?
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
Such an easy word to type,
Hate is.
Far more than like
And WAY more than love.
HATE so easy to roll off the tongue
HATE the way I'm wasting away so young
HATEHATEHATE the lump in my throat
HATEHATEHATE the way you make me choke
Do I mean anything to you?
Is what you say, any bit of it true?
I want to cry, I want to die
And you prolong my life unwanted!
I let myself go before you
Inside and out
I will bleed before this ends
Cut me before you go
So don't apologize.
Don't waste such words on me
Don't break my heart into tiny pieces
It hurts too much to let this go
And no one's here to pick me up this time
And yet I wonder why...
I'm the one alone...
Amanda Saveley
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