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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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61.
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Let You
Like a multi-colored rubber band ball on fire,
I'm a jumbled hot mess right now.
Some days I think to myself,
'It's a wonder you can stand.'
The elephant man reincarnate in a blender
Can’t compare to me on a bad day.
Am I really such a bad person?
Do I really think these awful things?
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t
Know where I’m headed
I don’t know where I’m going
But when I get there,
I just might let you
See? What I do to myself
Yes, I know I look like hell.
My pants are holier than my soul
And my hair could probably use a brush
But my heart’s been run over with a fine-tooth comb
There’s nothing left to remove.
Am I really such a bad person?
Do I really think these awful things?
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t
Know where I’m headed
I don’t know where I’m going
But when I get there,
I just might let you
Go to the farthest reach of my imagination
And you’ll find things I try to forget
And you’ll find things I wish I regret
For the longest time I didn’t know where my mind was
I just thought it was the ambition talking
But it was just me talking to myself.
Am I really such a bad person?
Do I really think these awful things?
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t
Know where I’m headed
I don’t know where I’m going
But when I get there,
I just might let you see
I just might let you go
I just might let you know.
I just might let you.
Amanda Saveley
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62.
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Letting Go With Snow Patrol
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
No tears could ever make you stay
But I wish I'd tried anyway
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head
I thought making you hate me would make it better
But everything's worse, now it's a dead letter
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
You used to be the one I ran to for help
But now I'm alone, only there for myself
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
I wish I would have said something, done anything
I would have fought you, not ashamed to cling
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Life was good even when it was bad
I only knew happiness when I was sad
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
But then I look around at the empty space
And know that you're in a better place
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
Make for yourself a better life
I'll take out of my back the bitter knife
More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
And I'll be here waiting to pick up the slack
Just in case you decide to ever come back
Amanda Saveley
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63.
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Lost In Translation (Como se dice...)
Quien habla?
Mucho gusto...
Me amas?
Como se dice...
How do you say...
What is going on? !
I nod my head,
Smiling vaguely,
As if I have an idea what in the hell is going on
I'd be surprised if all the words being exchanged aren't concerning my Complete ignorance and utter white-ness
Someone help!
Translator, please…
As if I didn't know what I was getting myself into
Como se dice…
So lost am I in the conversation
That I don't even catch the words I might actually recognize
Sure, I was good at it
Once…
I can speak well enough to mi novio,
But I can't seem to switch back-and-forth
So I get stuck inbetween
Is there a country with Spanglish as the native tongue
In which no one really knows what the other person is saying
So we all just stand with vacant smiles,
Afraid to foul up or offend
What a perfect world that would be!
Nonetheless,
I am confused,
Bewildered,
Befuddled,
At odds, and suddenly the minority
Feeling all remorse for those in my position before
What I would give to know!
Como se dice...
Amidst all the chaos and misinterpretations,
I catch a smile on the face de mi amante
And I realize...
It really doesn't matter
Whether yo puedo espanol, o ingles,
Or even farsi!
All that matters is that he and I are speaking the same language...
Amor
Amour
Amore
Liebe
Love.
Amanda Saveley
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64.
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Love Is Not Here, Please Leave A Message
Love...
Darkened at the doorstep of a lost hope
I search for you still...
Lost in the sea of my utter discontent
I missed you somewhere
Along the many miles of stretched pavement
Was a single message
My machine did not pick up
I only wished that someone would hear the message
I had left on your machine
But no one has
And no one ever will
For love,
Your machine is broken
Over-used,
Borrowed by many,
You are the friend everyone looks for
But few can find
Because no one bothers to write a letter anymore
No one has the time
You are old as time,
So you do not believe in e-mail
Just letters
And a machine that receives no messages
For Love,
You are unreachable
You have tried in vain to reach me,
Knowing that I was searching for you
Somehow...
But my machine is also broken
For I threw it against the wall when you last called
Enraged,
I tossed you aside like a thought long forgotten
Paper torn and lost in the wind
Love...
I missed you
And now that I wish to find you again
To apologize
You are nowhere to be found
Did you throw your machine against the wall as well?
Amanda Saveley
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