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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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57.
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Just Goes To Show, It Doesn't Matter How Big Your Sword Is, You're Not Always Invincible
I never meant to love you.
I never meant to care.
I never meant to try to mend
That which the world did tear
I never meant to say those words
They must've slipped my mind
I'd only said them once before
I never was that kind
I never should have sat there
I never should have spoke
I never should have tried to fix
What I hadn't even broke
I shouldn't have noticed the sun on your hair
Or the moonlight on your face
Or the way you carry heavy weight
And still carry it with grace
I shouldn't have even thought to look
Nor laid my eyes on you
And you shouldn't have looked back at me
Yes, part of this is on you
I didn't want to hurt you
But didn't mean to stay
But it doesn't even matter
Because I can't leave anyway
And now that it's too late for that
The thought's more than I can take
Falling in love with you was an accident...
Staying in love with you was a mistake.
Amanda Saveley
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58.
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Just...Words?
Do I still have that effect on you,
That sweetness that used to make you look at me in awe?
Or is it gone?
Have you left me already,
Without my knowledge,
Too detached to stay here,
But too kind to leave?
I love you
You know that,
But is it a feeling...
Or just words?
Amanda Saveley
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59.
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Kissing in the Rain?
I finally got that kiss I wanted but would never admit to wanting
Because wanting kisses are crazy and crazy just won't do.
But I got it,
As the rain was falling hard
And it reminded me of that one movie I'll never admit to watching
(Or never admit to liking, anyway...)
And I felt just a little cliche, but that's okay
Because cliche's not so bad when you look at it that way
And the rain was falling hard
So there must've been some kind of brain damage
Short-circuting,
Water-logged
SOMETHING
That made me stand out there, getting soaked
With rain-drenched hair and a sun-soaked smile
(Though the sky was completely clouded over-DUH, it was RAINING...)
And cliche was okay, so I smiled kinda crooked anyway
And all right, so there was no running involved
No throwing open of arms
Just a simple, 'Hey, come over here'
(Because I never just ASK)
And you smile, somehow knowing what I want the way you always DO
In your simple, laid-back way,
You make the what, five, six step walk over to me
In my precipitation-absorbed jeans and standard black Old Navy flip flops
And simply give me what I secretly always wanted
Though it's terribly cliche
And horribly overrated
And not all-that special
Our brains are both water-logged
So neither of us really care
And it's special this time, because it's really what I wanted
No one forced me into this one
And there are no strings attached
No latent heartbreak waiting for me in the wings
And most importantly,
I love you.
Amanda Saveley
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60.
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Last Heartbreak (At Whatever Cost To You)
You were there
My heart was crushed twentyfold
Even gravity cannot compete
Are you avoiding...
Me?
This uncertainty that has thrown itself at me as of late
Is quite disconcerting.
In fact, if I were to say with great honesty
That I am too attached to you
Then so be it!
I will detach myself completely
And turn off my gates to you
In which all my imparting knowledge of past sins
Shall forever be lost to you
At whatever cost to you
Because sir...
I am quite fed up!
Tired of waiting and wishing and wondering
And sticking myself in the heart with the pins
I salvaged from last heartbreak
But that is not the last heartbreak...
You, sir,
Are my last attempt!
And if this attempt shall fail,
I shall once again pick up the pieces
Reassembling myself into a colder,
More bitter,
Most resistant to all that is warm
Very separated and detached
Cynic
And it will have been all your fault.
Amanda Saveley
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