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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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41.
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Dehydrator
You're not sorry
And you never were.
It amazes me still
That I had the delusion
That you could ever be a decent person.
I hate you more than words could say.
Ever tear I ever spilled on account of you
Could fill the ocean of the void that I made of my life.
And it's your fault.
I'll never forgive you this time.
I can't even rationalize
What I could have possibly done
To warrant this treatment.
No empty threats even come to mind right now.
I just know that someday,
I'll be over this.
Someday I'll be past all this mess
And I'll become the person you only wish you could be.
Pathetic man,
I pity you
Because you don't know how to love.
Because you only know hate,
Because you hate yourself.
I don't know which causes more disdain,
The fact I hate you,
Or the fact that you cause me to hate at all.
Either is unfortunate.
Amanda Saveley
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42.
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Desire, but in Vain
I look at my name,
Hidden,
Amongst the names greater than mine own
In a list in a browser
And how I wish so that mine actually belonged
But no,
I have no place amongst those I admire so
For no one bothers to read mine
And I have hardly the ego to support them
I simply am not vain enough
Though there is a simple vanity in that which I desire
It is that vanity in hoping
That I might be worth something.
Amanda Saveley
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43.
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Fell In Love With An Angel
He rolls my heart like he rolls his 'r's'
On the tip of his tongue
With every spent breath my heart falls
Perpetual motions never undone
Chained to his side like I'm chained to my fate,
Imprisoned to life,
Sentenced to love
A single individual for what could be conceived
As the rest of eternity
Eternal bliss,
Occasionally marked by travesty
His wings are hidden,
Safely beneath the folds of his shirt
His halo, concealed
Beneath waves of dark hair
But with every word spoken
Every second spent
I know this is heaven
For I fell in love
With an angel
Amanda Saveley
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44.
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For Lack Of An Actual Break
I want my brain to shut up,
Shut down,
Break down completely
Break up with my heart
So they can finally stop arguing
Get a new place,
Find space,
Defrag already so I know where all the empty places are.
I want my heart to throw down,
Go down,
Dislodge itself from my throat
So I can start breathing already
I wish it'd stop beating already
Because I'd like to get some sleep
Or at least start sleeping steady
Because my brain and heart are starving
For attention,
For affection,
I'm so sick with this affliction
With this addiction
That's got my two essential organs
Completely bass ackwards
Can a sister get a manual
Because I think these things are defective
The human race needs a voluntary recall
Because God fell asleep at the factory
And got our minds and hearts mixed up
Perhaps he needs a raise
But you know he's self-employed
And those kind of people are rarely self-employed
So we're all. screwed. up.
Amanda Saveley
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