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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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37.
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Fell In Love With An Angel
He rolls my heart like he rolls his 'r's'
On the tip of his tongue
With every spent breath my heart falls
Perpetual motions never undone
Chained to his side like I'm chained to my fate,
Imprisoned to life,
Sentenced to love
A single individual for what could be conceived
As the rest of eternity
Eternal bliss,
Occasionally marked by travesty
His wings are hidden,
Safely beneath the folds of his shirt
His halo, concealed
Beneath waves of dark hair
But with every word spoken
Every second spent
I know this is heaven
For I fell in love
With an angel
Amanda Saveley
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38.
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Filling the Proverbial Nihility
Something's wrong.
You're empty.
You know it.
You try to fill it with all things imaginable,
Madly scrambling to stuff everything you can think of
Into parts of your anatomy you're sure aren't in any medical journal.
There's a void, you just don't know how to fill it.
But you can feel it...
Can't you?
Amanda Saveley
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39.
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For Lack Of An Actual Break
I want my brain to shut up,
Shut down,
Break down completely
Break up with my heart
So they can finally stop arguing
Get a new place,
Find space,
Defrag already so I know where all the empty places are.
I want my heart to throw down,
Go down,
Dislodge itself from my throat
So I can start breathing already
I wish it'd stop beating already
Because I'd like to get some sleep
Or at least start sleeping steady
Because my brain and heart are starving
For attention,
For affection,
I'm so sick with this affliction
With this addiction
That's got my two essential organs
Completely ass backwards
Can a sister get a manual
Because I think these things are defective
The human race needs a voluntary recall
Because God fell asleep at the factory
And got our minds and hearts mixed up
Perhaps he needs a raise
But you know he's self-employed
And those kind of people are rarely self-employed
So we're all. screwed. up.
Amanda Saveley
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40.
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Games
Tragedy leaks from silent liquid dispensers
Ragged sobs held within from years of practice
Repetitions of self-proclaimed happiness are no longer necessary
I'm miserable.
You don't know it.
But that's how it is.
I'm good at faking.
Always the one to speak up at injustice,
Regardless of my own thoughts
I slid the door shut on my own humanity
Life sucks.
But we all must deal.
So I deal with pain like the hand I was dealt,
Chasing cards into the deck like madness through minds
Setting ablaze everything that reminds me of things
I'd rather not remember
It wasn't really my fault...
But that's life, right?
That's the way the game is played...
Right?
Of course.
Because I didn't get to pick my pawn
I closed my eyes and held out my hand
As the heavy burden of the piece was weighed
And slid down into my palm
A lovely enterprise, I think
So I rolled the dice and spun the dial
Waiting for some kind of lucky card to bail me out
But the endless succession of bad luck seemed to follow me everywhere
So I started this fire,
Setting to ruin all that reminded me of the games played before
The endless comradery that is no longer of service
I'm little more than a plague to myself
A disease,
Threatening to eat up every last bit of humanity
Until nothing is left
But a shadow
A shadow of what I once was and may never be again
A shadow of what was once both sincere and an illusion
What was broken and mended
And broken again
Until there was nothing left
No adhesive
To possibly put my pawn
Together again
Amanda Saveley
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