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Best Poems From AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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1.
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Confessions of a Bound Soul
Brother, my brother,
How selfish was I
While you seemed to struggle,
I sat idly by
Brother, my brother
Yes, try as I might
I now realize
It was also my fight
Brother, my brother
Now look at your arm
It's cold and immovable
Lost all its charm
Brother, my brother
Now look at your leg
There's so much left missing
Yet not once did you beg
Brother, my brother
Though I lost more in mass
It is you far more haunted
By our mistakes in the past
Brother, dear brother
Listen when I say
I will stick by your side
Until this goes away
Brother, dear brother
Listen when I say
I will stick by your side
Until our final day
Amanda Saveley
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2.
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Crazy.I.Am
Yes, I am THAT kid...
The crazy kid...
The kid who says whatever they want
Without thought to anyone
Get in my way,
I'll spit on your shoe!
There's nothing I care about when it comes to you...
Or is there?
Because behind every person there is a soul
And some of us are leaders,
And some of us are lost
Me?
I'm a lost leader!
Leading others into lost with me,
Like getting lost is the new trend
Don't know who you are?
No ambition?
That's cool.
Because that seems to be the 'in' thing these days...
Getting lost...
It's cool
Cool to be stupid, cool to be confused,
Cool to look to something outside yourself
Something else to abuse
Something to set. you. straight.
To make your head EXPLODE!
Cause that's what it's all about.
Making the next big bang
Without no one seeing it
Then crying how no one notices you
You know what you do then?
Ask for a pill
Go ahead.
Ask.
They're everywhere!
You can't stop in the street
Without a pill beneath your feet
Or a heart that doesn't beat
With a medicated meat
So desert your dreams
Let go of ambition
To become lost and crazy
Is today's only mission
Amanda Saveley
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3.
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Crooked Paths Seldom Cross Twice
Lets be honest,
Not mince words here.
We never were ones to beat around the bush.
Were not bush babies, you know.
But we are people of the poem
And as such,
It seems like the only way to get through to you.
So here goes:
Brother,
Whose diapers I helped change
And whose hand I held
As we crossed the many paths along our lives,
You terrify me.
I never know what to expect from you these days,
And maybe thats how you like it.
I can understand it all, really,
I was nineteen once.
Bad year, as I recall,
And Im not proud of any of it.
Stubborn,
Proud,
Angst-filled words filled my mind and mouth
As I bluntly tried to smash our mothers heart
In a cruel attempt to get my feelings across.
Bladed words,
Long e-mails of cold contempt,
And we didnt speak for days.
Bad idea, as I recall,
And Im not proud of any of it.
So I can understand
How you might feel misunderstood.
How you might misfire in your attempts to make clear
All of your intentions.
Ive been there.
But I can honestly say
Ive never been down the road as far as you.
Because Ive been terrified to go.
Inner restraint keeps me back,
Desire to accomplish goals
Set before me long before I even knew
What it meant to be young and free.
I love you, brother.
Dont ever doubt that for a second.
But while I say that on the tip of my tongue,
Flip it over and find my outrage.
For you will find that I am simply unamused
At your random acts of selfishness.
And had I not experienced them myself
At your own hand,
I may still yet go unbelieving.
But I love you,
Which is why I remain devoted,
Despite the fact
That youve broken my heart as well.
You let go of my hand
And crossed paths I dare not tread,
For fear of no return.
No repair.
So please, brother,
Find your way back.
I dont want to lose you.
Dont cross any more paths
Where I cannot follow.
I want to see you grow,
Not put you in the ground,
At the end of a path,
Where you stray evermore.
Amanda Saveley
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4.
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You Can Change Your Name, but You Can't Change Your Mind
I left home
My choice, but the manner was not select
Goodbyes to friends, family, streets, buildings
All familiar...then
I changed my room,
Cut and died my hair
Switched gears, got a car, learned to drive right
Traded friends
Severed ties, making new
Gained weight,
Started college...
Nothing's the same.
And I hate it.
Amanda Saveley
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