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Best Poems From
AMANDA SAVELEY
(December 29,1987)
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1.
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Confessions of a Bound Soul
Brother, my brother,
How selfish was I
While you seemed to struggle,
I sat idly by
Brother, my brother
Yes, try as I might
I now realize
It was also my fight
Brother, my brother
Now look at your arm
It's cold and immovable
Lost all its charm
Brother, my brother
Now look at your leg
There's so much left missing
Yet not once did you beg
Brother, my brother
Though I lost more in mass
It is you far more haunted
By our mistakes in the past
Brother, dear brother
Listen when I say
I will stick by your side
Until this goes away
Brother, dear brother
Listen when I say
I will stick by your side
Until our final day
Amanda Saveley
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2.
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Oh, Dr. Seuss woulda been proud...
I took a breath,
I counted to ten,
Took another breath,
And counted again.
And though I am focused
And my mind is clear
There really is something
I think you should hear.
Sometimes you're angry
And you want to lash out
Your heart is full of rage
And your mind is full of doubt
So you do what you will
And you attack me so random
There is no reason
The facts are not tandem
One cannot bring up
Every single fault
And still expected
To be treated as adult
So as I count again backwards
And breathe again deep
Here's a little something
On which you should sleep
If with the world you are angered
And do not disagree
Go take it up with them
And stay far away from me.
Amanda Saveley
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3.
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Crazy.I.Am
Yes, I am THAT kid...
The crazy kid...
The kid who says whatever they want
Without thought to anyone
Get in my way,
I'll spit on your shoe!
There's nothing I care about when it comes to you...
Or is there?
Because behind every person there is a soul
And some of us are leaders,
And some of us are lost
Me?
I'm a lost leader!
Leading others into lost with me,
Like getting lost is the new trend
Don't know who you are?
No ambition?
That's cool.
Because that seems to be the 'in' thing these days...
Getting lost...
It's cool
Cool to be stupid, cool to be confused,
Cool to look to something outside yourself
Something else to abuse
Something to set. you. straight.
To make your head EXPLODE!
Cause that's what it's all about.
Making the next big bang
Without no one seeing it
Then crying how no one notices you
You know what you do then?
Ask for a pill
Go ahead.
Ask.
They're everywhere!
You can't stop in the street
Without a pill beneath your feet
Or a heart that doesn't beat
With a medicated meat
So desert your dreams
Let go of ambition
To become lost and crazy
Is today's only mission
Amanda Saveley
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4.
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Because You Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
'Happy Birthday. I love you.'
It's so unusual that I could say that at midnight tonight and be shooting it out in two different directions. But it makes sense, in a poetically ironic way. I feel like the day I met them was the day I finally split in half.
I want so much to be everything to both of them, but I can't.
Because it’s not smart.
Because it's not socially acceptable.
Because it's not healthy.
Simply put.
That doesn’t make me feel any different.
Does it hurt? Mostly.
And I wish I could save my life to this particular point, hit the “reset” button at the end of my life and do things differently.
I tried out the words on my tongue last night…
The ones I’ve been playing over in my head lately, just to see how they sound.
I’m testing the water to make sure I don’t drown in the other pond, you know?
And he was so hurt. The worst part of it all is that I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad about anything other than the fact that I was hurting him. I was sorry for his sadness, but it didn’t change my mind about what was making him sad.
I simply can’t breathe anymore in this space. I’ll die if I try to keep it all in. There are so many things I really want to say, in order to make everything okay for both of them. I’ve even considered cutting them both off, because I honestly believe they’d both be better off if they didn’t have to deal with my indecisive bullshit.
Instead, I’ll just wait until the hands meet at the top of the clock later tonight and say to myself what I could easily say to either of them.
“Happy Birthday. I love you. I’m sorry.”
Amanda Saveley
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