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Best Poems From
ABBI VAN DEN BERG
(6 November 1980)
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1.
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Save the whales
You're so slick
Your woirds are like
a smear of oil
floating viscously
on the surface of my conciousness
Your every selected sentence
oozes over me
coating me like pengiun wings
dragging me into my subconcious in search
of something untainted
by you
But I am left gulping
mouthfuls of carcinogenic waste
because you have leaked into
every last vestige of my
judgement and then
withdrawn
taking your tanker to
the next ocean
Leaving me with nothing but the ruinous legacy
left in your wake
Abbi van den Berg
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2.
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Rehab is for quitters
Please, please
dont give me a spade
because I will dig a hole with it
and dont give me a mountain
of affection
because I will only bury myself in it
dont be kind to me
because I am unable to appreciate it
dont accept me the way I am
because I will point out
all my faults ad nauseam
to try and convince you
that I am unworthy
dont be generous or sweet or gentle
because I have been damaged so badly
that my withered spirit
only understands pain
dont climb over the barbed wire fence
of my bitterness
because I can build a new one
faster than you can tear it down
And please, please dont love me
because I cant bear the fact
that I know I will hurt you
But above all
Please
please
dont
leave me
Because I couldnt bear to live another day without you
It is only in the whirlwind of this
horror that I have created
that I realise how you have helped me to heal
(07-02-2005)
Abbi van den Berg
Read more: pain poems
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3.
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Wink
I looked into the bottom
of a wine glass one day
And saw the devil winking at me
and I said to her,
'Why do you lead me
on this path of destruction
and convince me to make
reckless decisions?
Why do you let me behave
in ways that I know
claw holes in my psyche? '
And she just laughed
So I said, '
Are you mocking me?
This is all your fault,
you know'
It's your fault
I'm drinking this wine
and acting like a crazy person
I'm listening to
Your
voice in my head.'
and she stopped cheekily
shaking her ass at me
and looked me straight
in the eye
and I dropped my glass
listened to it shatter
and watched it
spray red-pink droplets
across my cream carpet
like blood and brains
out of the back of a suicide victim's head
because the devil
was me
26-02-2005
Abbi van den Berg
Read more: suicide poems, crazy poems, pink poems, red poems
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4.
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24
Today its all black and white
the shades of grey come with experience
You dont believe me
because you are 18 and
safe in the knowledge
that you have mastered everything that you will ever need to know
you look at me, with what youre convinced
is wisdom
because I am confused and sad
and I cant quite decide
You say I need to grow up
and you are shocked that
you can offer me your
platitudes and advice
and smug
smug that when you are 24
you will never feel desperately alone
that the solutions will be clear
that you will
never
have to listen to the musings
of a semi-adolescent
in order to gain perspective
And you just might be right
because you are a
man
and you are 18
But my sweet, sweet boy
the shades of grey come with experience
and you are intent on experiencing
nothing
And when you are 24
you may still be safe
in your newsprint zebra world
observing but never
connecting
And then I will be
smug
because is their anything more beautiful
than a grey sky
with just a hint of sun slicing through the
clouds?
Abbi van den Berg
Read more: believe poems, today poems, sad poems, beautiful poems, alone poems, sky poems, sun poems, world poems
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