If I Lost Him
I felt the only way to protect him,
was to hold onto him.
Hold onto him and never let go
for if I ever did I would lose the essence of his being.
I would soon forget his image
that I fought so hard to remember.
Or soon his beautiful smile would fade
a smile that only God could have made.
Maybe he would lose the twinkle in his eyes,
a twinkle that made my soul rise.
His clumsy walk, his incoherent talk.
What if he lost these things, then
what would I lose in me?
Maybe I would lose my eccentric joy
that increased with the birth of this little boy.
Or maybe I would lose my new understanding
and shut off the world, even the birds singing.
I held onto him,
wondering what would happen if I lost him.
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