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Best Poems About / On FUNNY
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Arnold Ziffle for President
*knows difference between a bow (weapon of war) and a bow (presidential greeting to all of Islam)
*knows there are NOT 57 states in the Union
*can interpret Biblical passages far better than all the top white house staff combined
*is NOT a puppet nor front for the liberal hierarchy
*better economic record (knows the value of a bushel of corn)
*higher intelligence (able to change channels using TV remote)
*exceeded all expectations from his youth (quite simply born a swine in a pigsty - with birth certificate to prove it - but continues to amaze everyone that knows him)
*more experience than a community organizer (i.e. President of the World Pork Expo)
*realizes that this country is a REPUBLIC and the US Constitution, a document to protect the people (not TP)
*knows how to create a single page bill (not pad it for votes and hide loopholes inside) saving paper, time & money.
*realizes that federal government's responsibilities are justice, tranquility, defense, general welfare, and liberty (nothing more)
*has NOT spent years being preached to by barnyard activists
*actually lived and educated here in America
*does NOT promote socialism but rather condemns it
*will stand against communism in all its forms
*realizes our forefathers formed this nation from their Judeo-Christian morals and that this nation is blessed by God
*believes in a STRONG defense
*will base the price of food exports upon oil import prices to those countries who support OPEC (do you wish to eat or extort your oil?)
*will promote domestic oil drilling
*will secure our borders
*will export illegals
*will not base green cards and citizenship on money alone, but will promote easier access
*will balance the budget (with the single page bill law, no need for huge congressional staffing to interpret each 1000 page bill)
*elimination of frivolous law suits (lawyers cough up 10% of value of suit if lost in court)
*lower health care costs (no need for unwanted tests if patient considers it unnecessary - doctors will not have to face malpractice for misdiagnoses, if patient is sure they just stubbed a toe) - antibiotics available over-the-counter (eliminating multiple doctor visits) - no need for a second reading of an X-ray if patient is satisfied with initial one, reduce red tape required for insurance purposes
*Patient Rights always take precedence over doctors orders
*guarantee dollar value by backing it again with gold, before all the gold has been sold to the federal reserve
*No one world government nor one world currency
*Close loop holes in tax laws and reduce capital gains taxes
*No federal money nor laws supporting unborn infant slaughter - only in rape will abortion be allowed - laws to promote adoption
*NO COMPRIMISING! ! ! !
*And lastly NO MORE DISCRIMINATION AND CONSUMPTION OF PIGS (since the proof of a higher evolutionary status than that of a common Washington politician has been provided here)
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Udiah (witness to Yah)
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2.
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So Says the Boss
I'm the boss
You do not cross
The king of my domain
For the day
No work, all play
Is found in my refrain
Love to eat
The prime of meat
So sad 'til I get some
'Tis so sweet
And such a treat
Boy, they can be so dumb
Hate to dress
Give me caress
No bother with the slime
Have to dig
In it real big
Archaeology time
When I'm beat
I have a seat
Take my favorite spot
No compete
It's so complete
Out of my royal cot!
Here to stay
I love to lay
Napping is not a farse
I'm a dog
Who's a couch hog
So move your big fat arse!
© 2011
Udiah (witness to Yah)
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3.
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no title
it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how "friends" can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one "love letter"
it's funny how one word can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me
It's funny that you lie to me
It's funny that you want to change who I will be
It's funny that I go along with it
Even though it makes me feel weird
It's funny how you're perfect
and how I thought you were worth it
It's funny how you said that I am suicidal
But look at you, you're no idol
it's funny how it's always your way
It's funny that I never get a say
and it's really funny that I called you friend
But where were you at the end?
stephanie paredes
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4.
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funny... but not
it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry
it's funny how forever never seems to last
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past
it's funny how friends can just leave when you are down
it's funny how when you need someone they never are around
it's funny how people change and think they're so much better
it's funny how many lies are packed into one love letter
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret
it's funny how you can forgive but not forget
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be
but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me
arianna loshnowsky
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